"Intimacy" We all Need It!

We need to be intimate

Our most basic need in life is relationship with God and others.

Intimacy between two or more transparent people who really care about each other is a basic need in life. Within these relationships, we can safely discover our blind spots and receive new input and teaching. Sadly, however, it’s in our human nature to hide when we sense disapproval from others. We scurry quickly into our safe "pretend world of comfortable truth" driven there by guilt and shame. We shield and separate our self from the very thing we need. We build a prison with in the confinement of our heart.

Walking Wounded

Hurting people need others in their life. Yet to make matters worse it is usually when they don’t particularly want them. Unfortunately, when people are wounded and broken they isolate themselves from good and healthy relationships. For they assume, with good cause, that people will not approve of their so called bad behavior.

Which brings us to another basic problem grounded in our human nature. Well meaning people who focus on performance and good behavior, as the only thermostat of a changed life, shoot the wounded and kick those who are down. They judge and condemn the very people they say they are trying to help. Who are the well meaning people? I'm talking about the church. The very people who claim to have the truth use it to judge and condemn rather than love and encourage. Using the sword of truth to slay the wounded and to protect them selves is the very thing that keeps the intimacy from thriving with in our church family. It also keeps us from being intimate with God.
A Two Fold Problem For Intimacy

A two fold problem needs a two fold solution. Lucky for humanity God has provided such a solution. He calls it Grace and Mercy. Grace is not mercy and mercy is not grace. He has given us Mercy and extended His Grace to all who will receive it. Many tend to think that because they have received Gods grace and mercy when they came to God that they now have some sort of unfounded right to judge and condemn those who struggle to receive it. Now just reading this you can see how stupid that sounds. All of Us need to live daily in his Grace as we extend it to others. All of Us deserve to be condemned if it was not for Gods mercy.

Just in case you do not understand what Mercy and Grace is let me refresh every ones memory. Mercy is not getting something that we ALL deserve. For example if a judge would tell a guilty and convected murderer that instead of receiving his death penalty that he deserves, he can go free, that is mercy coming from the judge. God, out of his great love for us, gives us this sort of mercy. We may not agree with God in every situation but that does not change God. Remember it is us that need to change not God.

Grace is a bit different. Grace is getting something that we do not deserve. We like to say "unmerited favor" this is true but is is so much more than that. Grace and faith (belief) are both necessary for salvation as God grants repentance to the sinner who humbles himself before Him.

"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God" (Eph. 2:8).

My understanding of Grace, Faith, and Mercy than, is that they all have one thing in common ,they are all from God, they are a gift, and we do not deserve them. The important aspect of a Christian life than is what we do with this gift. For what we do with Gods love is proof weather we have received him or not. There are many who have not truly received God's gift.

3And how can we be sure that we belong to him? By obeying his commandments. 4If someone says, “I belong to God,” but doesn’t obey God’s commandments, that person is a liar and does not live in the truth. 5But those who obey God’s word really do love him. That is the way to know whether or not we live in him. 6Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Christ did. (1st John 2)

I will not go into that last statement today "live as Christ lived" for that would take the rest of my writing days to ponder. I do want you to explore weather we are grateful for this gift. I am talking to those who shoot and kick the wounded. I am reminding those who have been given a gift from God and refuse to extend it to others. I am addressing one fold of the problem. People on this side of the problem have a greater responsibility. WE KNOW THE TRUTH and have received a gift from God. A gift we did not deserve.

Who Are The Walking Wounded?

The walking wounded are those people who although they profess to be in Christ struggle with sin. The biggest outward sign of the walking wounded is the fact that the inhale and exhale on a regular basis. That is my way of saying that all of us struggle with sin and we will till be are free from our earthly body. Yet some of us manifests this struggle with outward behavior that is visible. Most struggle secretly as they limp through life.

How does this information help in intimacy? Well, I'm glad you asked. God has bestowed to us the pathway to intimacy. He has given us the two key components to establish intimacy. He has established it because of his great love for us. He has called us to be ambassadors of this love. To bring people into the kingdom and to keep and nurture those who struggle. Are we up to the task?

In Conclusion

Every human being needs intimate friends and healthy relationships. But to establish these relationships we have to extend to others the Gift we have received ourselves. Many people, in our opinion may not deserve our love. Just remember, no one deserves God's love, that does not stop God. And that My friends is the truth!

By Ron Bender